8. February 2017
Hold tight. We are here to help you craft a perfectly cringeworthy pitch deck in no time.
Investors are bombarded with hundreds of pitches every month. In order to secure that critically important seed money, your startup's pitch deck needs to stand out. It won't be easy, but if you follow our tips, we promise your pitch will create a lasting impression. You can thank us later.
Tip # 1: Go logo crazy and opt for blank, boring slides.
Tip #2: Spend more time – and a small fortune – on super sexy portraits than you do devising a sound, strategic business model. Also, brag like there's no tomorrow.
Tip #3: Make sure to write a novel about each team member and whatever you do, do not check for spelling errors and proper grammar. Challenge: How many mistakes can you find?
Tip #4: Avoid visual aids like the plague and use catch words like, up-to-date, data, revolutionize, transform, insight.
Tip #5: Present the problem after presenting the plan, especially if the ‘problem’ you are trying to solve doesn’t really exist.
Tip #6: Be sure to include a complicated, unintuitive graph that doesn’t address the product or speak to the business model.
Tip #7: Cue ten more slides of charts that are confusing and serve no relevance.
Tip #8: And don’t forget to add team photos that show just how much fun starting a business can be.
Photos via VisualHunt